When is the right time?
By Shevy Chaganti and Danielle Olson
March 14, 2008
The parents are out and you’re all alone in the basement with your boyfriend of a few of months. As the temperature rises with each kiss, your grip on rationality loosens and you begin to feel a new sensation that forces you to ask yourself that big question: “Am I ready for this?”
Over the past 50 years, sex has escaped from being considered taboo for teenagers to become a major element in the culture of young people today. From the 1960s to 1987, the reported level of sexually active adolescents aged 15-19 rose to 70 percent, according to a study done by Ithaca College professor Srijana Bajracharya and Southern Illinois University professors Paul D. Sarvela and Fred R. Isberner in 1995. With this surge of sexual activity, the practice of premarital sex has become a decision that many of today’s teens must deal with.
Traditionally, the question of when the right time is to have sex would solicit a response of three simple words: after you’re married. However, in today’s world the answer can be much more complicated than that for some.
“I believe maybe high school is too early, but I believe not doing it before marriage is unrealistic because the world we live in today is so open about it,” freshman James Kovach said. “It happens a lot more than it usually did, so I think it’s unrealistic to think that you’re going to be married before you do it.”
The people and values that influence each young person contribute to the choices that they make regarding their sexual behavior.
One example is the influence of a teen’s parents. Teens who reported being highly satisfied with their relationship with parents were 2.7 times less likely to engage in sex than teens who had little satisfaction with their parental relationships, according to a study done by State University of New York University at Albany senior research scientist PJ Dittus and psychology professor J Jaccard in 2000.
Sexual education courses, another important source of information for teens, have recently caused many heated debates in American schools, mainly due to viewpoints toward abstinence-only education programs.
“It’s not [the students’] time to be pregnant,” health teacher Ralph Chapman said. “It certainly shouldn’t be a time for them to get diseases that can, at the very least, affect the rest of their lives and at the very worst, take away from the rest of their lives. They need to wait until the right time and when they’re older, they get married, and they don’t have to deal with all the other issues involved.”
As accessibility to information regarding sexuality has increased, many teens have taken the initiative to educate themselves through sources like the internet to supplement what they are taught by parents and other adults.
Statistics show that the amount of teens partaking in sexual intercourse has decreased by 7 percent since 1991, according to United States youth risk behavior surveys done in 1991 and 2005.
Taking into account these various influences, many students have come to their own decisions about when the right time to have sex is and why.
How do you view sex?
“I think it’s more of an emotional thing...Sex is enjoyable, you shouldn’t constrain yourself because you think that’s what society wants from you, as long as you and your partner are both OK with it, I think you should be willing to experiment. I think if you’re in a relationship with somebody and you feel really deeply for them, that sex can be a way to take that a step further. But also if you’re not in a relationship it can just be a way to have a good time as long as you’re safe about it and you use protection at all times.” Athena Hensel, junior
“I do date. I do [believe sex is a big part of relationships], but not at the beginning of it, not when you’re that young. I think kids do it for pleasure. I don’t think [sex is a way to deepen a relationship] in high school.” Vivian Chen, Freshman
What influences your decision-making the most?
Students chose all that applied. 204 students were surveyed
Does health class help?
“I think that [sexual education courses are] actually helpful to people, but as a gay man, I don’t feel that they ever really address issues specific to the gay community and they stress abstinence until marriage, but if we can’t get married we basically have to be abstinent for the rest of our lives. I do think that’s one thing that’s lacking in the curriculum.” Michael Poandl, Junior
“I don’t think [sexual education courses] are very beneficial at all. They stress so much about diseases and stuff but if you ask many girls in this school, half of them don’t use condoms.” Shareen Rashid, Senior
“I feel like our sexual education in America is completely wrong, and I think we should model ours after how they do it in Europe. It’s not all one-sided. It’s all just factual information and they tell it to us like anything else. They’re very open. They don’t pretend like it’s a secret and that we won’t figure out what it is if they don’t tell us. I believe they don’t tell us the facts. Instead, they try to morally objectify us, and I feel like that’s wrong.” Sarah Barakat, Junior
Do you consider oral sex to be sex?
206 students were surveyed
How do parents react?
“My mom recently talked to me about not getting peer pressured from other people to having sex. She says, first of all, it’s not as great as you think it will be. You shouldn’t rush having sex before you’re married because if you do get pregnant think about all the issues: paying for your baby, taking care of your baby, school. These are things you should look out for before you have sex.” Tahlya Angba, Freshman
“[My mom] wasn’t OK with it, but she had to take it as it was. We talk about it once in a while; she makes sure I go to the doctor’s every month. She just makes sure to know I’m using a condom and who I’m being sexually active with. I [have sex] for enjoyment. To me, it’s OK to have sex before your marriage. I used to think that it wasn’t good because that’s what my parents used to say.” Kaziwa Osman, Junior
Are you comfortable talking to your parents about sex?
211 students were surveyed
Have you had sexual intercourse since entering high school?
221 students were surveyed
How do you deal with pressure?
“[I think sex is] a big part of teen relationships. Every five seconds somebody will come up to you and say, ‘Did you do it yet?’…I think it’s wrong to discriminate against teens who choose to have sex before marriage just like it’s wrong to discriminate against people for their religious and other beliefs.” Jillian Scott, Senior
From a couple’s perspective…
“[We’ve been together for] a year and six months. We’re not [sexually active] because I don’t want to have a kid. We have fun and we can do other stuff like go to the movies… [The right time to have sex is] when you’re ready and you can handle it or after you’re married.” Naville Mejia, Junior
“I don’t pressure. I just go by how we do things because we’re a different couple than everybody else. We have a healthy relationship. Trust and caring [are] the most vulnerable part of the relationship. It’s up to her. I’m not going to force her to have sex.” Ross Newsome, Junior
Under any circumstances, is it oky to have sex before marriage?
230 students were surveyed
Do you protect yourself?
“Without sex there is no relationship. [Contraceptives are] a little bit important, but it depends. If you know she’s clean, then it’s fine, but if not you should wear a condom.” Brandon Sabotta, Junior
“I think unless you’re married and expecting to get pregnant, then you have to definitely [use contraceptives], especially since people talk so much. If you don’t know something about someone and you get an STD, the whole school knows about it.” Tanya Kafity, Freshman
“Abstinence is a way of protecting yourself from AIDS because that’s the only secure way of protecting yourself. [The use of contraceptives] is very important. If you want to be safe, you’ve got to use condoms to try and prevent pregnancies because that can ruin your life, your whole future and you never know what other people have. You’ve got to use it if you have any sexual contact. [Health teacher] Mr. Chapman talked to me a lot about it, and I had health class that really helped me a lot to think over things. I basically listened to my teachers, listened to other people who told me about HIV/AIDS and made me think a little bit more. “ Mauricio Saavedra, Sophomore